Ish's Hospital Adventure

Another day, another e-mail sent out after lunch. Everyone that once was sick is now better, and man oh man do I have a slightly vulgar story for you from their trip to the Chinese hospital. So, as it turns out, the reason why Ish was pooping blood was because he had hemorrhoids, and he knew about them. So they all get to the hospital, and it's even less sanitary than the camp. They take him in to a little room, and the proceed to probe him anally three times. After the second time, he exclaimed "Ni-How!", and everyone in the place cracked up, including the doctor, who responded with "Ni-How!", and shoved the probe in a third time, hitting him right on the prostate, causing him to get an erection in front of god and everyone. We will never let him live that one down. If China has done one thing, it has cemented my distaste for kids even more. My students bring their kids into class, because where the hell else would they take them? They're good when I'm teaching, but they're kind of little monsters come activity time. Oh, and one of them insisted on giving me a hug and a kiss repeatedly with his penis hanging out of his shorts. Not cool. The closing ceremony was today. It went way too long, but I did get to sing El Paso for some Communist Party bigwigs. They loved it. Also, the Carpenters are really, really big here, which was a very surprising revelation. Oh, and I got my class to sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame, and it sounded like a bunch of cats. There's video on the Facebook. We're only stuck in this hell hole for another day and a half, and the relief is palpable, even from Bonnie. Logan said in his speech today that she was the reason we all were here, which is true, because we all would have jumped ship without her working endlessly to improve things. It's going to be really good to get back to Beijing, even if it is for a few hours. We're going to the old town tomorrow, although I don't really know what that means, then going to a city to buy lunch for the train. I think we all might buy some cheap Chinese booze and do some early morning train drinking, because why not? We've all put up with enough crap. I'll know about if we're getting paid (I didn't ask because Bonnie had enough stress in her life yesterday), and about Inner Mongolia tomorrow. TTFN!