Guyuan

Sorry for not updating things, I haven't had internet access on my laptop until today.

Well, it's been a pretty crazy time here in Guyuan, but not the good kind of crazy like you want it to be. From the very beginning of the trip it has been nearly nonstop bad craziness. Ish is back in the hospital, this time with a mysterious fever, and the school we're at initially failed to provide us with assistants and a proper area to do large group activities for our standard number of kids, let alone the 350 kids we're in charge of at this camp, and we don't really have internet access (We share one computer with all of the teachers at this school). But those are just the current problems, in order to talk about the constant clusterfuck that has been this camp, I need to go back to just after I sent my last e-mail.

You see, we didn't take a train to get here. When we arrived in Beijing, we were told we were taking a bus. That bus became two vans, and those two vans became one van and a car. This presented us with a significant challenge, as one van isn't enough to hold all of us, and it definite;y isn't enough to hold all of us and all of our luggage and still be comfortable. So we threw comfort out of the window, and crammed 13 people and all of our stuff into a van that can hold 11 people on a good day. With spirits low, we exited Beijing, and promptly entered the worst rural traffic jam I've ever seen. Traffic was backed up for miles, and this was with Chinese drivers creating four lanes out of a two lane highway. Once we got off the highway, I began to fear our lives were in danger.

There are no real traffic laws in China, there are merely suggestions, and you realize that once you're flying at 100Km/h in an overloaded van through mountain roads in the rain. We would pass people on the shoulder, we would pass them and narrowly avoid oncoming traffic, and I spent most of the time yelling at the driver under my breath. It was not good.

Finally, after 5 hours (they told us it would be a three hour ride) of this terror, we arrived in Guyuan, and things started to look up. We're staying at the Sports Questhouse, although I haven't been on any quests yet, and it's fairly nice, albeit pretty dirty. After we got our things up to the room, they took us to dinner, where I got to sit with all of the school officials, and the head of CSETC, Irene. The principal of the school decided it would be a great idea to get me and Miles drunk, and so we spent most of dinner toasting and talking about China and America, and I proved myself as a drinker to them. Irene actually challenged me to a drinking contest when we get back to Beijing, and that should be quite the time, assuming it happens. Me and Miles fell asleep soundly, unaware of the shitstorm to come.

The first thing that went wrong went wrong at 6:30 in the morning, when Logan knocked on our door and said that we needed to get Ish to a hospital right away. He couldn't move, and he was vomiting all night. He's been in and out of the hospital since we got here, and the best that the doctors can tell us is that he has a viral infection. His fever peaked at 104, and he seems to be getting better, although he's seemed that way before. Before lunch, we received word that the opening ceremony would be outside, and after wondering why, we got our answer: there isn't an auditorium big enough to hold everyone. On top of that, we also discovered that the assistants that the school promised us don't really exist on a constant basis. These two facts present a significant problem, and in order to explain this problem, I need to explain how camps are run.

In the morning on a standard camp day, we all teach three classes, and we can do that on our own. However, in the afternoon, we have tutorial time and an activity for all of the students. During tutorial time, we take one or two students out into the hall, and chat with them, while the assistant takes over the class and keeps them busy. Without assistants, we're leaving a class unattended, and that is Bad. 34 teenagers can get into so much trouble without supervision. The activity is kind of the centerpiece of the afternoon, and to do most of them, we need a computer with a projector, and a microphone. We don't have these things here, but we still have to do activities. Why don't we have assistants or an auditorium? Because they didn't know that was part of the camp, so they didn't plan for it, and now that they know those things exist, we have to do them. Goddamnit. We have assistants now, although they are teachers, and are prone to leaving class. We'll see how that works. The activity situation is significantly less clear. I want us to tell them that we just can't do that, but Miles doesn't think that's an option, and he's the leader, so it's his call.

But I digress. We did the opening ceremony outside, despite the constant threat of rain, and everything went well. I sang The Weight while kids hung out the windows of the school to see the crazy white people, and I felt kind of like a Beatle. Then it was time to meet my kids, all thirty four of them. Well, as it turns out, these kids understand less English than any of the other camps, so I'm in for a constant struggle. Class today went better than I thought it would, but I'm super wary of the future, as all I did today was feed them vocabulary words.

Other than that, I have nothing else to report. I'm going to try to stay in contact as much as I can by writing e-mails on my laptop and sneaking into the office with them on a flash drive, but other than that, don't expect any real contact with me for the next two weeks. All any of us are telling ourselves right now is that this is the last camp, and that will probably become the mantra for the rest of the trip. I'm getting tired of living out of a suitcase, and I just really want to get where I'm going to be. I hope I don't get what Ish has.

-Cooper

Things here appear to have hit a boiling point. This isn't about the school we're at, in fact, this camp has been pretty great, this is about CSETC as a program. You see, when I was accepted into this program, I was told that at the orientation meeting I would find out where my permanent position was going to be. When I arrived at the meeting they said the information was going to be with the contract I had to sign. When I signed the contract, they said I would find out when I arrived in China. When I arrived in China, they said I was going to find out at the end of the camps. And now I'm here at the end of the camps, and I know absolutely nothing. Everyone knows nothing, and we're all mad as hell. Niona told us that we might not know where we're going until we physically receive our train tickets, and we all kinda flew off the handle, which I feel is warranted at the time. Well, not all of us. Logan urged restraint, and I got super angry with him, because I've had enough of restraint at this point. I feel bad about doing it, and I have to find some way to make it up to him. Miles called Annie, the person in charge of all of this, and asked when we'd know. When she said maybe Thursday, he simply said “No, not maybe. Thursday.” and hung up. It's the kind of communication problems we've been dealing with since the beginning, and what we're doing for six months of our lives is important enough that we're not going to take it sitting down. More on that story as it develops.

However, the daily goings on of the camp have calmed down. As it turns out, my kids are really fun and like me a lot, which makes teaching a lot easier. However, it also makes telling them no worse. They wanted me to do a dance with them, and because it's their ceremony (and I dislike organized dancing) I had to tell them no. They haven't dropped the idea. I think most to all of the girls have crushes on me. Why do I say that? Well, for one, one of them asked me “Why do you look like a hero?” during question time, and most of them have more or less told me that they do. Don't stand so close to me, I guess. They guys all think I'm cool, and keep challenging me to feats of strength, which I politely refuse. All of them can hit the hell out of a tennis ball with an old mop handle, and they like rock and roll.

The administration is still difficult to work with, though. Take today as an example: We had to cancel the rest of the activity because all of our students have to go march (Yes, 1! 2! 3! 4! style marching) during the afternoons next week. On top of that, the kids that have been marching for the last week are coming back, and they're using our classrooms, so we have no idea where we're teaching next week. Oh, and with the exception of my home room, I'm teaching different kids for the last few days. They still seem to like to get us drunk at inappropriate times, though. Last Wednesday, me and Miles drank one of them, a guy we call Cigarette Man thanks to his love of offering us cigarettes, into submission with beer, and then he took us to a square in town where people danced, and we all had a great time. He, too, can hit the hell out of a tennis ball.

I'm making new Chinese friends. While we were at the square, I met a worker in the local Party HQ named Joseph who spoke very good English, and we talked for a while about the differences in being members o the bureaucracy in America and China. He's an interesting guy that knows how to play Baseball. I hope I run into him again tonight. Zowahh's TA is another one of these new friends. She's going to be going to grad school in Tianjin, and we've had a few good conversations. Her English is better than she gives herself credit for.

Other than that, I've had a few interesting observations about the town we're in. For one, nothing is built to last, everything seems to be semi-temporary at best. The buildings across from our hotel are about three years old, but look like they're twenty years old. The school we're in is less than ten, but sufferers from some serious wear and tear. But, then again, I know what it's made of. It looks like it's made of brick from the outside, but the brick is merely decorative. There are a few places where it's falling off, and underneath it is concrete. But that's not all! The layer of concrete is about a centimeter thick, and under that is some of the cheapest looking cinder block I've ever seen. That too is crumbling.

Another thing I've noticed, and its not just here, is that China seems to not have any sanitation workers at all. Sewers runneth over into the streets, floors are swept by old women but never mopped, and non flush toilets exist inside of school buildings, including one right outside my classroom. I hope they get on that hose sooner rather than later.

We went to a Catholic Church a few days ago, and it was every bit as weird as you would think. It's a big, pink church that towers over the buildings in town, and is visible from our hotel room. It's full of gaudy prints of paintings, and there's LED rope lights around the cross that flash. Oh, and the courtyard is full of mangy, stray dogs, although this is more of a Guyuan problem than a church problem. Even our school campus is full of them. We named one of them Dogmeat. Ish is back in the hotel, although I haven't seen him at all, as he's refusing visitors. I'll keep you posted on his condition and the assignment situation as they develop. Pray for good news, as the mood around here is even worse than it was in Quzhou.

Resisting the urge to kill

-Cooper

Well, things around here have improved considerably since I last decided to write. We finally got an explanation as to why we don't know where we're going for the school year. As it turns out, the schools haven't contacted CSETC because they're on summer break, although as I write that, I'm not sure if I believe it anymore. After all, don't most administrative staff at schools work through the summer? But there's no real way to call them out on it. Intrigue continues.

Ish has emerged from his room, and although he can't walk too well, he's generally in good spirits, and it's good to see him around. I made a fool of myself last night at karaoke by performing the most enthusiastic version of Bohemian Rhapsody that this town has ever seen. Apparently I dance weird, and that makes people laugh. At least I understand that it's not about singing, it's about showmanship, something that was lacking from all of the other members of the group. The camp's running smoothly enough, and I have maintained my generally well-liked status with the students. I'm interested to see if our exit from this place is as emotional as the one we had in Wu Dan, because I think it might be.

The school cafeteria is closed today, so they took us all out for hotpot at lunch. What this meant was that everyone got their own little pot on a hot plate that was used to cook things, and we shared a bunch of communal things to put into our individual pots, like raw meats and various mushrooms. It was an interesting experience, and definitely a novel concept, but because you were effectively boiling everything to cook it meant that all of the meat came out tasting about the same, and there was the constant nagging worry of if the meat was cooked enough. If I get dysentery in the next week, I'll know why.

I'm pretty nervous about getting my assignment for the year, because I've realized that nothing is guaranteed here, and because of that, I can't count on anything. Will I have internet access when I get to where I'm going? Will there be other English speakers than me there? Will I be living in squalor, or am I going to have some place nice to live? What am I going to do with all of my time? If I'm in some rural place, I can't count on any of that, and if things aren't in my favor, it's going to be a very long year for me. I wish there was something I could do about it, but there isn't, and I'm stuck sitting around with my thumbs firmly up my ass. Maybe I'm just being overly nervous about things, but everything that I've encountered with the program hasn't given me faith in their ability to provide conditions, or to communicate enough with other locations to get information about conditions.

On a related note, we've discovered a possible reason why all of this has been so slipshod in execution: this is the first time they've had more than five people in the program, and this is the first time they've sent people to teach anywhere other than Beijing. This is another fact that doesn't really instill confidence for me. There's not much else I can do other than sit and wait for the day when we finally get our assignments, and hope things work out for the best. I hate that fact.

-Cooper