Yesterday was an interesting day for me. If you haven't already seen on Facebook, I was a contestant on a Chinese game show. It was a completely surreal experience, not unlike when Bill Murray is a guest on the Japanese talk show in Lost in Translation. I had no prep, no instructions, and everything was in Chinese so it wouldn't have made a difference. Best part is, I won, and they want me back on again. Being white has even more perks here than it does in America.
After dinner yesterday, I decided to go into town by myself and wander around in the bind hope that I would find something interesting going on. I had seen signs everywhere around town advertising something going on from the 16th to the 18th, and although I was pretty certain it was an event related to real estate, I figured going and poking around wouldn't hurt. I got off at the 1st KFC, and planed at just wandering about while listening to Kicking Television, and as soon as I got off the bus, I noticed a cluster of people and decided to check it out.
When I arrived, I couldn't see anything, despite being a good four inches taller than most people. As I tried to get a better look, a woman came up to me, and thoroughly surprised me by speaking English. She explained that she was a TV producer, and asked if I wanted to be on the show. As Frank Zappa sings in Camarillo Brillo, “Well, I was born to have adventure”, and I agreed. She said she'd explain the game (she did not), and taught me two phrases in Chinese, both of which I forgot. Fortunately, I got a look as what was going on, so I was good to go for actually playing the game. Then, it was time for me to play.
I emerged from the crowd, and I could feel people being surprised by me. I exchanged some words with the host as a kind of prep that accomplished nothing, and then the cameras started rolling. This is where things start to get weirder. She asked me many questions in Chinese, some of which were understood, and most of which were not. She taught me two phrases that were most definitely directed at her: You're beautiful and I love you. Everyone laughed, and I'm pretty certain that everyone thinks I'm real dumb, but I get that feeling from most of my interactions. Then, the other guy was introduced in a far briefer fashion than I was, and it was time to play the game.
The game was pretty simple. The Chinese guy and I were tethered together with a bungee cord and placed between two tables. We had to pull against each other to get to these tables, and on these tables were blocks. The objective was to build a structure with these blocks before the other guy. We started, and I was doing pretty well until he started to pull a little harder, and my Chucks slipped, sending me stumbling back at him at bungee speed. I crashed into his back with my face, and he seemed super miffed, and kinda gave up on the game, allowing me to build with no problem. Victory! More things were said in Chinese, and I was given a choice of many envelopes. I grabbed one, and won 50 RMB and two boxes of juice. The host asked me if I knew what the money was. She definitely thinks I'm dumb. The producer took my name and e-mail address, and declared me to be very charming.
Afterward, I wandered confused through an outdoor home improvement expo, and had my presence cause a minor disturbance at an outdoor children's concert. Today I woke up at 1 PM, ate at KFC, and discovered a pagoda a couple miles from the school. China is weird.
-Cooper
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