The man with two guitars is very talented

It feels like a it's been a long time since I've written anything, so I figured I might as well put some words out on the screen, if only for the same of getting words out of me. I've fallen into an oddly comfortable routine of teaching and putzing around here. It's weird, for all of the times that I really disliked teaching during the summer, it's one of the few things I really enjoy here. There's something rather fun about the barnstorming way we teach day to day here that makes it new every time. Every time I walk into a classroom, I'm greeted with thunderous applause, like a musician taking the stage, and because I represent a break from the normal monotony of their days, the students are always lively and attentive. If a lesson works, it really works, and if it doesn't work, nobody seems to mind. This creates a certain security that lets me take risks in class, so even if I'm teaching the same lesson from a book, I can try to put a spin on it without fear of getting a completely blank response. The flip side to this is that I'm never really sure what level the kids will be at. Fortunately, there's always a few kids that are really good that I can lean on to get through tough times.

I realized the other day that every class that I teach is bigger than my graduating class in high school, and that's kind of a mindblowing number for me. It's good in some ways, as it means there's going to be at least a couple people that stand out, as I mentioned earlier, but it can also mean that there's forty kids that have no idea what's going on. This has made me realize that although I should always do my best to reach out to everyone, sometimes you have to just teach to those few that actually understand. It's a balancing act for sure, but it's something that I'm getting used to. Except in International class.

The International class is its own special monster. These kids are supposed to be taking the TOEFL exam in the near future, and so they're taking this class to try to give themselves a leg up on the test, and for some of them, I have no clue how they think they have a shot at passing it. I've taught classes where I'm almost completely sure that they understood nothing that happened for the whole hour. We'll see how long they last. International class is also difficult because I don't think that anyone here understands that we're not real teachers. The school expects us to build a coherent semester of lessons as a group, and that's not something we have any real training in, so we're doing our best to just make it up as we go along, although we'll see how that goes.

That having been said, I've been trying to have fun with them as well as teaching. For class this afternoon, I said to hell with academic pursuits and the TOEFL, and taught them about Rock and Roll instead. This was met with a mixed, mostly positive response. Thanks to a very helpful tip from Amy Stubblefield, I decided that the best way to teach what's admittedly a very wide topic in an hour was video, and that the videos should be as iconic as possible. As such, I played them a version of Johnny B. Goode from the 50's, Elvis singing Blue Suede Shoes, the Beatles first performance on Ed Sullivan, The Who blowing themselves up on the Smothers Brothers, Stairway to Heaven from The Song Remains the Same, Elvis Costello doing Radio, Radio on SNL, Born to Run, The Clash doing Guns of Brixton at the US Festival, and Radiohead doing Paranoid Android on Later with Jools Holland. The Beatles, Zeppelin, and Radiohead went over really well, and may have made fans out of a few people, and everyone was blown away by two things, the response to The Beatles, and Robert Plant's package. At least I'm spreading some culture around here.

My bitching to CSETC apparently has done something, but this being China, it might have achieved the opposite of what I wanted it to. Margo said that she's working on planning more things for us to do, but she also mentioned that one of the things she's planning are lectures, presumably put on by us for the students, which sounds like the opposite of a solution to our concerns. I haven't gotten a response to my second, significantly angrier letter, hopefully that will come soon.

Nothing much else has changed here, and I don't really expect it to. I've taken to counting down the days until I come home, which I'll be doing if I can get out of my contract with CSETC or not. As far as I can tell, they have little respect for the contract, so I'm not going to respect either. I informed them in my first e-mail that I do not want to be placed at a school next semester, and that I want to be switched to a six month contract. In standard CSETC fashion, they didn't even address the request. Fuck 'em, I'll be home in 106 days.

-Cooper

Game Shows Touch Our Lives

Yesterday was an interesting day for me. If you haven't already seen on Facebook, I was a contestant on a Chinese game show. It was a completely surreal experience, not unlike when Bill Murray is a guest on the Japanese talk show in Lost in Translation. I had no prep, no instructions, and everything was in Chinese so it wouldn't have made a difference. Best part is, I won, and they want me back on again. Being white has even more perks here than it does in America.

After dinner yesterday, I decided to go into town by myself and wander around in the bind hope that I would find something interesting going on. I had seen signs everywhere around town advertising something going on from the 16^th to the 18^th, and although I was pretty certain it was an event related to real estate, I figured going and poking around wouldn't hurt. I got off at the 1^st KFC, and planed at just wandering about while listening to Kicking Television, and as soon as I got off the bus, I noticed a cluster of people and decided to check it out.

When I arrived, I couldn't see anything, despite being a good four inches taller than most people. As I tried to get a better look, a woman came up to me, and thoroughly surprised me by speaking English. She explained that she was a TV producer, and asked if I wanted to be on the show. As Frank Zappa sings in Camarillo Brillo, “Well, I was born to have adventure”, and I agreed. She said she'd explain the game (she did not), and taught me two phrases in Chinese, both of which I forgot. Fortunately, I got a look as what was going on, so I was good to go for actually playing the game. Then, it was time for me to play.

I emerged from the crowd, and I could feel people being surprised by me. I exchanged some words with the host as a kind of prep that accomplished nothing, and then the cameras started rolling. This is where things start to get weirder. She asked me many questions in Chinese, some of which were understood, and most of which were not. She taught me two phrases that were most definitely directed at her: You're beautiful and I love you. Everyone laughed, and I'm pretty certain that everyone thinks I'm real dumb, but I get that feeling from most of my interactions. Then, the other guy was introduced in a far briefer fashion than I was, and it was time to play the game.

The game was pretty simple. The Chinese guy and I were tethered together with a bungee cord and placed between two tables. We had to pull against each other to get to these tables, and on these tables were blocks. The objective was to build a structure with these blocks before the other guy. We started, and I was doing pretty well until he started to pull a little harder, and my Chucks slipped, sending me stumbling back at him at bungee speed. I crashed into his back with my face, and he seemed super miffed, and kinda gave up on the game, allowing me to build with no problem. Victory! More things were said in Chinese, and I was given a choice of many envelopes. I grabbed one, and won 50 RMB and two boxes of juice. The host asked me if I knew what the money was. She definitely thinks I'm dumb. The producer took my name and e-mail address, and declared me to be very charming.

Afterward, I wandered confused through an outdoor home improvement expo, and had my presence cause a minor disturbance at an outdoor children's concert. Today I woke up at 1 PM, ate at KFC, and discovered a pagoda a couple miles from the school. China is weird.

-Cooper

The Subtle Art of Panic

I come bearing not depressing news for a change. As it turns out, the kids at this school are super sharp, and are really fun to teach. They all have interesting opinions, and are surprisingly articulate, and getting discussions going has continued to be far easier than I thought it would be. This is, of course, assuming that you know how to push them the right way. Chinese kids don't really speak up, so you just kind of have to put them on the spot and force them to talk. But once they stop trying to pretend that you didn't call on them, they have things to say, and good reasoning behind them. I've taken to posing the same question to every class that is starting the Life in the Future unit: Do you think that the East and West are moving together as cultures, or will they maintain their distance? The answers are good, and they obviously understand the question, although they're prone to falling back on blind nationalism in their reasons. Also, the first kid to speak generally decides the opinion of the class, but that might just bee a teenager thing, and not a Chinese thing.

I've recently discovered that I'm really good at classroom improvisation. Take my first international class as an example. I was supposed to have an article on capitalism for them to read and discuss, but I went to the office, and found that not only was it locked, the key I thought would open the office does not. This didn't seem like a big deal to me, because we have a computer in every classroom, so throwing an article up on the projector and having them read it that way was a valid option. Except it wasn't. The computer chest has a lock, and we don't have the key. Boo. So, I realized I had to think on my feet.

I'm doing discussion, so why not teach them about debate and discussion? That'll work. Go over points and rebuttals, and the structure of a discussion. Why do they look so bored? Oh, they've already learned this. Shit. Well, let's do a debate. What topic? Uh... Jesus, what would they know? Bieber. Who likes Justin Bieber? You two? Ok, you're going to be arguing that he isn't the greatest pop star. You hate him? Good. You're arguing that he is the best in the world. You have fifteen minutes to prepare. Go!
This worked flawlessly. They all loved it, they debated well, and I now know what they're capable of. Plus, I get to save the article for next class. CSETC has asked all of us to write 500 word essays on our jobs and difficulties, and I'm going to be brutally honest with them, and I really hope it makes alarm bells go off back in Beijing. In fact, I'm going to cut this a bit short so I can start writing it. I'll post it up when I'm done.

-Cooper

In the future, everyone will be fat and ride everywhere in cars with wheels in an X shape

I had lotus and rice for dinner tonight. This was not an adequate meal by any means, but that's Chinese cafeterias. It's damned cheap, too. That having been said, I miss cheeseburgers. The best that I can do here is KFC, but it just doesn't feel quite right. If I only ate at t he cafeteria, there is no doubt in my mind that I would end up completely malnourished, so I'm supplementing with fruit and such. There's actually a really great local citrus fruit that tastes like a smaller, sweeter grapefruit, and I've been enjoying too many of them.

For the past few days teaching has been delightfully spontaneous. It all started yesterday, when I was just getting out of the shower. I had a meeting with Margo at 8:30, and didn't have to teach until ten, or so I thought. As I contemplated putting pants on (something that is debated fairly frequently, actually) I heard I knock at my door. It being around time for the meeting, I thought it was Miles. It was actually the teacher I was teaching for that day, a young woman who goes by the name Lobster. I don't get it either. It's possible she's a B52's fan. Anyway, I answer the door in a towel, and there was a solid second of awkward that resulted. I swear you could feel it through walls. As soon as I had a full grasp on what was going on I told her to wait there, and that I was going to go put some pants on. She happily agreed as I was closing the door. Once I had dressed myself she explained that she screwed up, and that I had to teach RIGHT NOW. We collectively hauled ass to the classroom, and everything went off without a hitch. After class, she offered to let me use her car any time I wanted, which spurred a lively discussion of traffic laws and why I'm terrified of ever having to drive here.

Today was something else, too. I arrived on time, and proceeded to make the terrible instant coffee I drink here. After I finished adding hot water, my plan for the day changed entirely. I was supposed to lead a 'warm up' for a unit, which is a bunch of questions and discussion to get people thinking about the next unit. I had questions, and I had discussion points, and the teacher I was subbing for had a completely different idea. She provided me with a powerpoint, and told me to teach from that because “the students will understand more”. She did not give me time to review it, and I taught by the seat of my pants, completely uncertain of what was lurking on the next slide. And you know what? I hid that fact very well, engaging the students in discussions I didn't know they were capable of, and generally teaching better than I ever have. I might try not prepping again sometime and see what happens, maybe I teach better on my toes. One of the girls in the first class asked me if I was French, which is a new one. Oh, and a fat kid envisioned a bold future without walking. I wanted to laugh so badly, so I think I'll do that now.

I think my behavior is very alarming to traditional Chinese values, judging by the looks I get when I do certain things. For one, I went out and bought beer to put in the beer fridge that was inexplicably provided for me. As I was checking out at the supermarket, several old ladies gave me the stink eye, as though I was injecting heroin into toddlers. I just shrugged. I went running outside of the school compound for the first time last night, and boy howdy does doing that without a shirt on get you some reactions. I nearly caused two traffic accidents, although this being China, that could have just been regular driving. Folks looked on with a combination of disapproval and amusement, and for a while, some guy on a moped tried to get me to race him. I declined.

Tomorrow's my first International class, and I'll be leading my students on a discussion of capitalism (paging Bill Jones). If this goes well, I'm going to have a lot of fun with that class. If it's disappointing, well, that'll just fit with the general pattern of things here. I'm off to go cause more traffic problems.

-Cooper

Jiangxi: a place that has killed my ability to creatively title things

I'd really like to be able to start off this transmission by saying that now that we're all teaching, and things have picked up a bit, we're all going to be okay. That would be a lie. Everything is going just the way that it has in the past, and the crushing boredom and sleeplessness are all there, along with the lingering fear that I was completely right about what my experience was going to be here. I'm going to try to talk about it less here, as it's probably super boring and off putting to read if you're not stuck in the situation, and Aristotle tells me that audience concerns are important in rhetoric.

We found a bar, but not the good kind like you're hoping to find in a place that you hate. The drinks are expensive, especially by Chinese standards, and the atmosphere is not something that really suits anyone. I have never been in a louder room in my life, and I'm counting First Avenue in my list of rooms. There are more lasers in the place than are needed by anyone that owns no discernible cats. The music is also the worst, consisting of terrible re-recordings of old American hits such as Country Roads, but with loud, constant drum tracks and awful synthesizers thrown in, because why not? The one good thing was the owner took notice and bought us all drinks, although we probably disappointed him when we couldn't speak Chinese. Just as we were about to leave, a weird stage show took place, and Miles and I watched a larger woman in short shorts sing songs punctuated by chugging beers that audience members gave to her. Seriously weird stuff.

It was the Mid-Autumn Festival, and in keeping with the general narrative of my experience here, it was a disappointment. I was awoken by constant firecrackers, which continued through the day. As the sun went down, Vang, Miles and I headed into town to find where things were going on for the festival. We walked down streets, we walked through parks, and eventually made our way to the river. We found nothing, and wound up taking an over-full bus back home. One of Kao's students makes fireworks, and we tried to set one off, but it did nothing, and stayed with the narrative. I went to bed, and fell asleep three hours later.

I taught for the first time today, subbing in for an enthusiastic fellow named Chris. Class went well, but in talking to Chris, I realized that he thinks I'm a complete moron. He lectured me for a good ten minutes on Deng and the Special Economic Zones, despite my eerie ability to finish his sentences when he stumbled and anticipate his questions. I suppose this is how it feels to be a non-native speaker in America, too. I experienced racism the other day, which was neat in a kind of twisted way. I was on the bus, and I had an open seat to my left and another one to my right. Nobody sat down, even when the bus was packed. I just smiled and continued to listen to the new Wilco album, which is really good by the way.

I'm gonna go out and take photos sometime soon, so look for those soon. I still don't have my passport,and it's freakin' me out. I hope it comes soon. Gonna teach more about the United Kingdom tomorrow, a place I know very little about. Don't tell the kids!

-Cooper

Is our children learning?

It's been long enough since I last wrote something that I feel bad for not having written recently, but I'm running into a problem that will probably be a constant one throughout the rest of my four months at this school: I have nothing worth writing about. My days are every bit as humdrum as one would expect them to be, because my writing as thrived on the adventure inherent in moving around every two weeks. The amount of new information that I get on any given day has slowed to a trickle. I haven't done anything important or meaningful for at least a week, if not more. I'd love to keep traveling, but outside of weekends, I don't think I'm going to have all that much time off. Why? Well, Monday is the Mid-Autumn festival, and we're working that day. We're getting three days off in October for National Week, we're supposed to be getting a week.

This may seem odd, but it's actually an important reflection of a lot of what's wrong with the Chinese education system. You see, this is a system that puts quantity far over quality. It's a system that exists almost exclusively to teach to a big standardized test, and as such, kids aren't treated as learners, they're treated as information regurgitatiors. This school takes that concept to an extreme. These kids are in school from 7 AM to 10 PM, and I'm not really sure if they get a day off, and if they do, it's only a day. When I asked about this, one of the teachers simply said, “The headmaster is crazy.” But you know what? In this broken system, it's these kinds of things that get results. This school sends more kids to the top tier of Chinese universities than any other in the province, and they are damn proud of it. I'd say that this is a problem that China is going to have to deal with, but the system is so deeply entrenched that I don't know where they would begin. For my portion of international class, I'm leading discussions every four days, and I'm starting to think that discussion based classes are not going to go over very well here.

The students may be in class all the time, but we are most certainly not going to be. I will be teaching two classes a day, Monday through Friday, for a total of 1.5 hours per day. Every four days I'll be teaching for an extra hour of international class, so as of right now, I'm working a salaried position for 8.5 hours a week, and one week out of four, I'll be working for 9.5 hours a week, and I think that nobody in the world is as unhappy as me to work for so little time for a guaranteed, non-hourly wage. All this really means is more time for me to sit around in a town with nothing to offer me to do in my free time. If I were in Beijing, I'd already have applied for many part time jobs. But this is not Beijing, this is Fuzhou, and there is nobody in this town that requires the abilities that I possess.

And, uh, that's really about it. Things haven't changed here, and I don't really think that they're going to. Life will be as it has been, and that's just something that I'm going to have to adjust to, generally for worse. I've been having trouble sleeping, we'll see if that keeps up. More when I have things worth writing.

-Cooper

Answers and Fear

 I have begun to fear that everything bad that I thought could happen to me in this place, and everything bad and negative that I was worried was true about this place was more or less correct. Even though there is significantly more of a city here than I thought there would be, there is exactly the amount of things to do that I was afraid there would be. We all just sit around our rooms and watch the days pass by. And it's not because we aren't trying to find places to go, because we are. We go out and wander the streets of the city in the hopes that we may find things to do, and we consistently find nothing at all. The weirdest part about it is, I never seem to find people my age. Either there's some place I don't know about, or they just aren't in this town, which would explain a lot. We asked some of the teachers here what they do in their free time, and we got responses ranging from watch TV to read, which was less than comforting for our long term well being. Our main contact here is a woman by the name of Margo, and we asked her if there were any bars or such, and she confirmed there aren't. She actually went on to say that “You wouldn't want to go to one if there was. It's dangerous, you know. They're full of fashionable young people, and you wouldn't have any fun.” I don't think she gets it.

We're learning more about how and when we're going to be teaching, and as it turns out, I'm teaching even less than the 18 hours a week I was expecting to be. Kao and I teach three classes from a textbook every weekday morning. These are the big ones, with about 60 kids per class. They're 45 minutes each, and we're rotating through all of the classes in the grade, so I'll be spending no longer than a week with any group of kids. This makes teaching difficult, and goes to further my theory that we're not here as teachers, we're here as attractions. That's the bulk of our teaching. Our arrangements are better than Miles and Vang, who are in a much bigger grade, and are only teaching two classes a day. They're cycling through all of the students in the grade as well, and it's a much bigger grade. They have no textbook, and will simply be teaching the same four lessons for the entire four month stint. I'm not sure about everyone else, but that sounds like hell to me.

We're also doing an international class in the evening. We're rotating as teachers for this one, so I'll get to teach once every four days for an hour. We're each taking a different portion of English to work on, and I picked discussion, so I'll be going in, giving an article to read, and testing comprehension and leading discussion. This might work, or it might fail miserably. We know nothing about our students, other than that there are ten of them, so their English level might be way below where we want it to be, and given that I have never been pleasantly surprised in this country, I'm prepping to do some scrambling.

I've been running again, which actually feels really good, as long as I'm not walking down stairs. It's so hot and humid here that I have to wait for the sun to go down, but it provides me with some sort of positive from this awful experience. I really hate this place, and thinking about spending four months here makes the walls feel like they're closing in. It's not pleasant here already, and it gets worse every day. I'm worried about the future, and I'm worried about what's going to happen to me emotionally. I've felt depression creeping in already, it kept me up Monday night, and I think it's going to many times to come. These next months are not going to be pleasant.

-Cooper